Mom, I am starting to get seriously pissed. Actually, I've been seriously pissed for 6 days now.
Do you have any idea how sick I am of pizza?
Not to mention horrible music?
Plus seeing my reputation trashed every day?
How did you ever think that abandoning me in Laramie was a good idea?
I do like peanut butter, though. Can we have it when I come home? I am coming home, right? Mom?
He keeps talking about some beast. I am a little worried. I don't want to run into a beast.
You'll be fine, honey. I didn't abandon you, but Laramie was the best I could do. Just keep pretending to obey the human and maybe he won't sell you on eBay. If he does, I'll buy you back.
And you looked kind of cute in your tie.
I think I had fun last night, but I have kind of a headache. Good thing there is water in the toilet bowl. We went out someplace last night and I had some food and drank some beer. I haven't had much beer before. Then there were these women in pointy shoes that came halfway up their calves who kept coming around. I showed them my teeth and they left the human alone. I "might" have nipped one on the knee. Not sure. Then we went home. I could barely walk a straight line into the house. Nice that he let me sleep on the couch because it is really cold.