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Discussion: Sorry to hear the news

in: PG; PG > 2016-03-28

Mar 28, 2016 11:52 PM # 
Our sympathies on the conclusion of a long life. She leaves a fine legacy for the future of orienteering in the US.
Mar 28, 2016 11:55 PM # 
What a beautiful tribute. Thank you for sharing.
Mar 29, 2016 12:05 AM # 
My condolences. What wonderful memories. Thanks for letting us get to know her a little bit.
Mar 29, 2016 12:36 AM # 
Our sympathies as well. What a remarkable woman!
Mar 29, 2016 12:42 AM # 
All the best to you, our thoughts are with you.
Mar 29, 2016 1:01 AM # 
I'm very pleased to have had the opportunity to meet her. I have fond memories of a very generous dinner with you all in Switzerland in 1991. And she managed to give the world some very admirable progeny, as well as other fine things.
Mar 29, 2016 1:35 AM # 
My condolences, too. I know how hard it can be to lose a parent, even when it is "expected". Thanks for sharing the memories. All the best to you and your family.
Mar 29, 2016 1:38 AM # 
Thank you, Peter!
Mar 29, 2016 1:55 AM # 
I also remember that fine (and generous) dinner in Swirzerland, and remember particularly listening to Jamie talking to the waiter in what seemed to me very confident and capable German. Nice company, and very cultured for the bunch of us who were mostly out camping in the rather muddy field. A very nice and still vivid memory.
Mar 29, 2016 2:08 AM # 
My condolences, Peter. I didn't have the opportunity to meet your mom, so I really appreciate reading your thoughts and memories of her. Sounds like a remarkable woman.
Mar 29, 2016 3:04 AM # 
Thank you Peter, and my condolences as well. I'm sure that her spirit will be with you in the forest, and with the juniors she supported as well.
Mar 29, 2016 5:57 AM # 
My condolences, Peter. It's great that your mother got to live out her life in her home, and a very long life at that, but it's still a sad day for you and for all of us on your behalf. My thoughts are with you.
Mar 29, 2016 8:19 AM # 
Our thoughts are with you, Peter. As the others here who never met her, I've enjoyed "getting to know" your mother through your stories on AP. Thanks for sharing with us.
Mar 29, 2016 9:26 AM # 
Thank you for sharing.
Mar 29, 2016 10:54 AM # 
My condolences, Peter. I am just sorry I never go to meet your mother. Your descriptions paint a remarkable woman.
Mar 29, 2016 11:40 AM # 
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us Pete; you and your family will remain
in our prayers.
Mar 29, 2016 12:46 PM # 
So pleased that you were able to spend these last years in a mutually satisfying relationship with your mom, and that you shared her with us from time to time. Thank you.
Mar 29, 2016 1:14 PM # 
Thank you for many kind comments.

A few other things I put on Facebook (to a very limited audience, mostly family):

Funny how these things turn out. The most I ever saw of her was the last five years (she was a rather distant mother). At a point when she had lost most of her mind and I've said good-bye to a good bit of mine, the connection was suddenly easy. Life is full of surprises. And I will certainly keep smiling.


You never know what life will bring. There was a time a few years ago when someone needed to step up and there was no choice, so you don't really think much, you just do it. So I did my part, the "boss" as Lina would call me from time to time, but as is usually the case, it's not the boss that does the work. That was Lina, day after day after day, feeding and washing and moving and bathing and really everything, but most important loving. My mom trusted her with everything. My nightmare scenario was if Lina got sick, but in the 5+ years of 24-hour care, she never missed a day.

I tried to visit every week. We had a standing agreement for when I was not there -- Lina had total authority to do what she thought was best, but she could also call me anytime if there was something she wasn't sure about. In that whole time she called me twice. The first was several years ago, a winter of heavy snows and then rain and it wasn't clear that the flat roof on the house would make it. Could she spend what seemed to her a huge amount of money that was then the going rate to get it shoveled. That one was easy, of course.

Through various other storms and power outages and other people not able to get to work, she was always there. And then the second call was yesterday.

We were so incredibly lucky to have her.


Last night, after a couple of kind and professional men from the funeral home had come and gone, and Lina, Angelo, and I were sharing stories, I thought it might be appropriate to honor mom with a bit of one of her favorite beverages, namely, some scotch. Now Lina doesn't drink, but Angelo was certainly willing. We looked all over, but despite the large amounts of scotch that had been consumed in that house over the years, there was not a bottle to be found.

But Angelo to the rescue -- "There's a bottle of Limoncello in the fridge." -- and so there was, just enough in it for a couple of small helpings. Glasses were raised (Lina with us in spirit even if glassless), smiles all around, "To Jamie!"

Good memories (and perhaps the start of a nice tradition?) need to be encouraged.
Mar 29, 2016 5:05 PM # 
Peter, please accept our condolences.
Mar 29, 2016 9:03 PM # 
Sending warm thoughts your way. All the best.
Mar 29, 2016 9:58 PM # 
Very nice recollecting and eulogy, Peter.
Mar 30, 2016 1:25 AM # 
I remember your mother---and your father. I don't know that we every met formally but she was a very spry woman as I remember.

My condolences.
Mar 30, 2016 3:10 AM # 
Izzy B:
I am sure I am not alone in feeling endlessly grateful to you and your mother for the incredible opportunities that were made possible by the junior funding. My condolences.
Mar 30, 2016 4:07 AM # 
Peter, I was really sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I definitely remember that 3-day meet in 1978 in France that you mentioned, and the really wonderful dinner in Paris that she invited us to; and also meeting her a few other times. She was truly a wonderful lady, and I know you will miss her dearly.
Mar 30, 2016 4:09 AM # 
Thanks for sharing some of your Mom's journey with us over the years, and thank you both for your caring and generosity. Condolences to you and your family.
Mar 30, 2016 4:38 AM # 
Condolences to you and your family for your loss. I don't know if I ever met your mother, but I and the rest of the juniors and seniors who have developed in the sport and become lifelong athletes over the years all carry a bit of her generosity with us. The impact she leaves behind has spanned generations, and will continue through us to benefit generations to come. Thank you so much.
Mar 30, 2016 4:08 PM # 
Thoughts are with you in this tough and memorable time. It is hard to move on, when those close to us are no longer there.
Mar 30, 2016 6:55 PM # 
I never met your mom but she sounded like a remarkable woman. You are in my thoughts during this time of grief and transition. (I think the Paris meet might have been 1977. I still have the results book.)
Mar 30, 2016 10:46 PM # 
Peter, I offer sincere condolences to you on the passing of your mother. It has been enlightening to read your log over the years, getting to know her a little bit. I think any of us would be fortunate to have a dutiful, caring person in our later years as you have been.
Mar 31, 2016 12:52 AM # 
My condolences. Thanks for sharing the memories.
Mar 31, 2016 1:21 AM # 
So nice to read these words of good will.

I will say especially to Izzy and Ethan, it has given me a lot of joy in the last several years to watch the enthusiasm in the junior program under Erin's leadership. You are both testimony to his good work (and your hard work). Thank you.
Mar 31, 2016 12:19 PM # 
My deepest sympathy, Peter. How lovely that your mom was able to live her final years comfortably at home, surrounded with loving care. And the junior team is, and will be, a vibrant memorial to her life.
Mar 31, 2016 7:55 PM # 
I never met your mom, but I have followed some of your stories of her in the past few years. I have been moved by your caring for her, but moreso, by the respect with which you always spoke of her. Her obituary speaks volumes about how she embraced life. Like mother, like son. I offer my sincere condolences and a wish for the return of many memories of your years with her as time goes by. And please accept my thanks, on her behalf, for her generosity to orienteering, especially in providing a Junior Team Coach. It has made a huge difference in orienteeing in the US.
Mar 31, 2016 8:27 PM # 
Your mom sounded like a really wonderful woman, and it seems like despite the hardships of taking care of her in the last few years, you managed to find some really valuable moments, getting closer to your brother, especially. It takes a special person to be able to see the silver lining behind the clouds, but you're continually proving to us that you can do that. Thank you, for your work with your mom, for her contributions to the orienteering world that I know, and for your example of always learning something from your experiences.
Mar 31, 2016 9:04 PM # 
Peter, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I still think of your story about your mother when I get on the Thruway at spots that aren't my usual entries and have to think about going east vs. west (so far, I've only messed up once).

And now we have the opportunity to thank you, and your mother for the support of the juniors that has truly made a difference in many lives.
Apr 1, 2016 9:43 PM # 
I'm so sorry for your loss, Peter. She sounds like a wonderful woman. Many thanks to her and you for the support that has given to benefit orienteering. My prayers are with you and your family.
Apr 3, 2016 2:10 PM # 
So sorry about your loss but her generosity to all the communities that she was a part of will be remembered well into the future. Giving away art work for all to see, being active in doing good things and helping to support the sport of Orienteering will be her legacy. She had such a fine spirit.
Apr 3, 2016 3:31 PM # 
Sorry to hear about your Mom Peter. Wishing you wonderful memories as time starts to heal the pain of losing a parent.

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