Poor bastard. He'll probably need therapy. Did you use Withering Scorn, Bad Puns or Kindly Uncle?
Maybe just his sheer presence?
Tooms' personality isn't very transparent, though.
A bit of facetiousness and leaning a bit towards Kindly Uncle, you know, empathy with them, acknowledge their issue, but witheringly point out how things were not optimal... :-)
I don't suppose too many people actually know the centre policy on lane allocation to be able to point it out to the lifeguards?
True, but most people will know there ought to be one. I think there is one, I don't know if it applies throughout the day - as in when swimming lessons are on there's often only one lane, but they contend that the single lane in the 0.9m 30 degree pool also counts.
In the unlikely event that I turned up to a pool, I'd be pretty confident that a lane should be available for my use otherwise I'd be asking for my money back (or else finding the duty manager).
Don't they normally offer to refund your money after watching you try to swim anyway tRicky?
Normally he finds himself suddenly extracted from the water by the rapid response lifeguard team who think he's drowning! Consequently he's never able to swim more than 15m and that's why his swimming is not his best mode of transport.
I doubt that swimming is anyone's mode of transport.
It is for people on holiday in Bali when they want to get from the edge of the pool to the mid-pool bar.
How does having a mid-pool bar constitute responsible service of alcohol?
Unsure. Not in 'Straya, so all hunky-dory I guess.