How does one convey not-a-dog to a moose?
Obviously you have to improvise, and in a situation like this you better not waste too much time, either.
In my case, the best thing I could come up with on the spot was playing air guitar in the style of Eddie Van Halen playing "Oh, Pretty Woman." I was pretty confident the moose had never seen a dog doing anything like that. Although I will admit it might have sufficed to simply have refrained from growling and teeth baring.
Confidently approaching some bubble wrap, as if you have no fear, would also do it. That's why Swampfox should always carry some bubble wrap when he runs.
Or he could wrap himself in it so it doesn't hurt so much when the moose hits him.
I would not care to run the experiment of sharp moose antlers (mounted on alarmed moose) vs. bubble wrap. I am pretty sure I know how that would turn out without doing the experiment.
Ok, this is a good start. I'm taking notes. Summary so far:
CONVEYING NOT-A-DOG to a
1) Air guitar Van Helen
2) Bubble wrap not yet tested.
Though, generally speaking, I'd have more use for conveying not-eddie-van-halen. However, I live in the big city and so it's not surprising there are some differences.
If you use enough bubble wrap, it would probably be fine -- so fine that you could sell tickets to tourists. Think pseudo-sumo or zorb or Troy Hurtubise. But it would be a lot of bubble wrap.
It would be a lot of bubble wrap.
Btw @Iamstillhungry: you don't have to convey anything to bovine. Bovine are much smarter than most people think, grasping all the significant aspects of a situation with dazzling speed, intuitively and quickly arriving at the best possible response, and then acting decisively.