I hope you had put on your "Night Orienteering is not a Crime" t-shirt before you called the police.
I can't find that shirt. I wonder where it is...might be time to get a new one.
That does not sound promising. That, in fact, sounds like you didn't have it on exactly when you needed it most.
I was reading a major national newspaper earlier today, and it had an article in it filled with "useful tips for living a better 2018". One of the tips which I didn't think much of when I first read it, but which I'm thinking more highly of as I write now, was to "sew large spangles on any t-shirts and other pieces of clothing you want to be sure to not lose." Though I will admit I don't know how good of an idea this is, because I don't know what a spangle is.