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Discussion: Sad

in: maprunner; maprunner > 2018-05-13

May 13, 2018 9:39 PM # 
tomwcarr:
These sorts of things happen far too often. Perhaps that is as it always has been; it is a symptom of getting older that it is easy to exaggerate the differences between now and then. Nevertheless, it is sometimes hard to deal with all the BS in organized youth sports. Good on you for trying to send some positive vibes.

ps: Weights on an 8-10 yr old's feat?! Seriously?
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May 13, 2018 11:19 PM # 
peggyd:
Yeah that’s just awful parenting! We try soooo hard not to push Max. I cannot even imagine treating my kid that way. :-(
May 14, 2018 2:51 AM # 
ebuckley:
Well, since I wasn't there, I'll accept Mary's assessment that this was just plain wrong. That said, getting it right is not as easy as it may seem.

Yaya always showed aptitude in sports. This was noted by soccer coaches, Tae Kwon Do instructors, the USOF coaching staff, and the local MTB community. But, working at it wasn't really her thing. I prodded a bit and she promptly quit all the above activities.

Now, entering High School, she not only wants to be involved in scholastic sports, she wants to be a he (yes, welcome to my world). It hasn't been easy pointing out that that opportunity has been permanently blown. Participatory sports are still open, of course, but competitive scholastic sports are absolutely closed to boys who haven't been doing them since early childhood. Doubly closed to such boys who aren't even boys. So, did I mess up by not pushing her harder? Maybe. I'll never really know. I just know that s/he is very sad about it now.
May 15, 2018 1:47 AM # 
maprunner:
Eric, I do agree that some kids need prodding/encouragement/a bit of a push. It was not just what this dad was saying, but how he said it, that was just wrong. Positive encouragement, or tough love with a smile or calm tone, would be fine. Negative comments shouted at the top of your voice do not encourage any kid.

Good luck with Olivia and whatever s/he decides to do next.

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