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Discussion: Good luck

in: Bash; Bash > 2018-07-09

Jul 10, 2018 2:43 PM # 
We found filtering through what should go to a smaller space quite taxing. Too many decisions.
Jul 10, 2018 3:23 PM # 
It is tough although the decisions are eased somewhat by a few things:

1) This is the 2nd downsizing exercise. House ---> smaller house ---> 2-bedroom apartment

2) This is 100% her idea and she is super enthusiastic about it.

3) I'm a sucker for family history and bring back boxes of stuff every time I return. :)
Jul 10, 2018 6:09 PM # 
I’ve been throwing out boxes of my own stuff to make room for downsized stuff. Mrs mom may have had more photos than I did. We also have boxes of plates and statues.
Jul 10, 2018 6:33 PM # 
I've resisted the glassware so far but I understand we're having that discussion when I visit next week. So far I mostly have photos, slides and related gear (hard to buy so I don't mind), books and miscellaneous useful items like shoe racks. The biggest item is a brass-plated milk can from my grandfather's dairy farm but I have always wanted that. There is more to come, I'm sure. We're lucky that my brother has an antique/housewares shop so we can send nice things to him, knowing they'll find a good home.

Before all this started, I'd been proud of clearing out a lot of my own stuff from my junk room. Oh well...
Jul 11, 2018 2:56 PM # 
My impression is that Canadians are much less acquisitive than Americans. So by comparison, I imagine you have less of a challenge.

My wife just returned from Finland, where she helped her mother with a fine old Nordic custom of Death Cleaning. Do it yourself, before your heirs have to do it for you.
Jul 11, 2018 5:51 PM # 
I’m trying to eliminate junk before my daughters have to. There is stuff I will keep that they probably won’t hesitate to throw out.
Jul 11, 2018 6:16 PM # 
A friend downsized to an apartment at age 50 after cleaning out her Mom’s house. She didn’t ever want to put her kids through that.

It is certainly helpful to be working with Mom and understand what means something to her and what doesn’t. She is quite willing to part with some things that I might have assumed she would keep for sentimental or family reasons, then it might have been hard for me to get rid of them in future.

I’ve come to understand there is a category of things that someone might reasonably want to keep their whole life with the full knowledge that it will be thrown out afterward. It’s OK to keep those things but it might be helpful to find a way to indicate what they are and what your wishes/expectations are.

This is especially thought provoking for someone without children - like me.
Jul 11, 2018 6:17 PM # 
@Chitownclark, I’ve read about Death Cleaning and it is a cool idea! I’m not sure Canadians collect less junk than Americans, alas.
Jul 12, 2018 10:29 AM # 
@Bash, might be true - if you discount fitness clothes/equipment, :-)
Jul 12, 2018 1:21 PM # 
We have a dedicated Outdoor Gear Room - but it doesn’t all fit in there!
Jul 12, 2018 2:24 PM # 
About 10 years ago, I wrote a document about my important possessions. I included who to contact to get rid of stuff that has value to me, and some others in the world, but wouldn’t be likely to have a space in children’s homes forever. I review it and update it every couple of years.
Jul 12, 2018 3:01 PM # 
That's a really, really, really good idea. I appreciate the opportunity for my Mom to tell me that she was never overly fond of a particular wedding present or piece of jewellery to which I might assign more importance. It certainly takes the pressure off - especially when I've seen her throwing out photos of herself and my Dad because she "has so many that are better". Because my brother and I don't have kids, no one is likely to get too sentimental about items from our family history but maybe there are cousins who would care about things that belonged to my grandmother, who is also their great aunt. This exercise really gets one thinking!

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