Discussion: Alto Molise

I can imagine your disappointment. That looks like a very pleasant place to walk...especially with the chance of refreshments at a country tavern at the end of your stroll.

And congratulations on doing 'the right thing,' at least by American standards. Sari lectures me about my tendency to overtip, or tip at all. Says it debases the service relationship. So dealing with the tipping conundrum for me, is one of the unexpected difficulties of travel in Europe.

Good find. One is not generally expected to tip here in Italy, but generally I do, and certainly in a case like this one, where the value received was so much greater to me than the price.

Vaguely relevant story: A large tip to a woman from a man in some cultures could be construed as a request/demand for extra services. We had this issue in Senegal when the man in our trio gave a very generous (by Dakar standards) tip to his host family's maid who had been doing his laundry all month. He told us that she had been acting funny ever since he gave her the tip and we had to explain to him what probably went through her mind at the exchange. He then apologized to her and explained that it was just an American show of appreciation, no further expectations, and we ended the trip peacefully.

I can see how that could happen, but thankfully no such confusion in my case.

Yes, only a vaguely relevant story. Hard to imagine such confusion in western Europe, even in places without many charming American tippers.

Ha ha Cristina! I think you hit Charlie square between the eyes with that 'vaguely relevant' story. Don't know how old his Italian hostess was, but I can imagine the look of consternation that might have crossed her face when Charlie expressed his generosity.

And it occurs to me, that may be part of the reason my wife is so disapproving of my tendency to overtip those attractive Swedish waitresses! :-)

No, Clark, it all never occurred to me, nor I’m sure to the 57 year old Maria. While she was the one I settled up with, I would certainly have given the same tip to her husband Enzo.

I'm sure you're right Charlie...just pulling your leg.

But as I've come to realize, what the Kavanaugh confirmation, #MeToo, and even recent statements from our esteemed leader have underscored, is that us men have often been unaware how our actions have been misinterpreted by the women in our lives. Like the guy in Cristina's story, many of us have been clueless...it IS tough to be a guy.

What I think is a generous or humorous act or comment, can be interpreted in a completely different manner by a woman...who maybe has been exposed to verbal and physical abuses all her life. My wife is 56, and VERY sensitive to any physical contact, probably because the men in her family tickled her endlessly...to the point of pain. And even after 12 years of marriage, she's suspicious of any unexpected act of kindness or generosity I might show to others. Jus' sayin'...