There is always choice. You could stay home and golf, or go to Walmart and ride the electric carts all day long, pretending to be incapacitated. Or you could rub your finger across the edge of paper and see if you get any paper cuts. Probably the paper cut option is the best, or at least the least mentally painful.
No no no, if you live in Wisconsin you must go and ski the race not matter your condition.
Maybe if I did get a paper cut though, that would be an option.