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Discussion: Hope everything settles

in: Bash; Bash > 2019-05-09

May 10, 2019 12:45 PM # 
.. back to (new) normal soon!
Chin up! :-)
May 10, 2019 1:42 PM # 
Thinking of you and sending hugs your way.
May 10, 2019 2:30 PM # 
Thanks. I talked with someone who spent 6 years clearing out their parents’ home. My brother and his partner are former antique dealers who could do it in 6 hours if I weren’t so darned sentimental. It’s not that he isn’t grieving; he just doesn’t get emotional about someone’s stuff, which is fine. So I’ve been spending a lot of extra time working there on my own in a slower, more contemplative manner. Yesterday we overlapped. Gah. I was so stressed afterward that I couldn’t fall asleep until 4 a.m. (There’s no risk that he’ll ever see AP!)
May 10, 2019 2:51 PM # 
It’s hard to let stuff go. I would pick a handful of items to keep and pack the sentimentality in them and let your brother send the rest on its way. Not everyone is built that way though - part of why we have a storage locker and a chunk of basement holding stuff that is unlikely to see the light of day.

Good luck striking a balance that works for you.
May 10, 2019 3:53 PM # 
Thank you. I'm OK with letting stuff go (furniture, books, some art, etc.) but I like taking time in a room the way Mom set it up, looking through the shelves and drawers, and smiling at her notes and doodles. It's sad but also nice. Although Dad never lived there, this was my parents' last home. In the end, I still recycle/throw out items or put them in the giveaway pile but my process is slower. I've now brought home most of the photos and family history so at least I can spend more time sorting through those things here. I've only worked for 2.5 days, and there is no rush to vacate the apartment but we'll be out well ahead of the normal notice period.
May 12, 2019 1:37 AM # 
coach ld:
Efficiently sentimental. That's tough to pull off - and slow. But you of all people will get it all organized and sorted AND still take some time to reflect. Sounds like Bash.
May 12, 2019 2:24 AM # 
The target date for emptying the apartment just got moved earlier in May. Argghh. My outside voice said, "Sure, that works for me." I won't share what my inside voice said.

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