Discussion: Dangerous animal warning

For those of you thinking you'll be safe from deadly beasts (attack badgers and whatnot) while running the Grunt - think again.

Ok, we may not have Attack Badgers but our local equivalent is surely just as deadly. And unfortunately, if you choose to orienteer in the southern half of Missouri, there's absolutely nothing you can do to protect yourselves.

These cunning predators have armored hides, beady little eys, a pig-like snout, and razor-sharp claws. They are dumb-as-dirt and as such, totally fearless.

Their mode of attack: lie silently in wait, invisible beneath the fallen leaves, erupting forth to about knee height, as their hapless prey (orienteer with eyes glued to map) passes within striking distance (usually < 4 feet).

With the victim in a state of shock (or possibily cardiac arrest) these ferocious, little monsters latch on and, and, ohhh the humanity! (ebuckley, MTB crash, hmmm - just sayin).

SO, if while running the Grunt you hear the stunned cry of "HOLY S*&#" or "SWEEET JEESSUUS" reverberating through the woods, you'll know that yet another orienteer has nearly met with brutal end courtesy of a KILLER ARMADILLO!

Far less dangerous than Drop Bears that infest the Australian forests

These cunning predators have armored hides, beady little eys, a pig-like snout, and razor-sharp claws. They are dumb-as-dirt and as such, totally fearless.

Until the final sentence I was betting on either "toddler" or "bogan".

For shame Juffy, bogans certainly are not cunning.

You've obviously never seen them fight for a parking space big enough for their yoot.

HEADLINE: "Armadilloes hi-jacked by Aussies"

How will Tom respond?

Bogan teens smuggling alcohol down south for schoolies would probably have a hide like an armadillo if prodded I guess, cunning in a way Juffster, I'll admit.

Is there anyone sufficiently bilingual as to be capable of translating "bogan" into American?

Texas? *ducks* :)

In one particular subdialect of American English found in a corner of Attackpoint, I believe "bogan" translates to "sub-moron", at least the way it's being used here. Although an online search suggests "redneck" or "trailer trash", and indicates that "bogan" is a term one would apply to oneself in a self-deprecating manner, which is not how "sub-moron" is used. So I take it back. A little assistance please, feet?

ahhh - thanks!

The closest approximation to the States is white trash, but there's subtleties to boganism that are harder to describe.
Things Bogans Like can help. The quality of it's recent posts have declined, but earlier ones will give you a good idea:
http://thingsboganslike.com/page/23/

Rather than be self-deprecating jj, most bogans are proud of their bogan-ness.

I'm sure that you must have people in the States who like muscle cars (mainly utes - pick-ups to you), wear narrow-leg jeans (usually black) and check flannelette shirts over a faded black singlet, have mullets and/or tiny pigtails (and make their kids wear them too!), had tatts before Angelina popularised them, and say 'youse' a lot (plural of you, but is often applied in conversation to an individual, as in bogan to bogan-girl "Youse wanna root, ay?").

The people described in Patrick's link are no longer really bogans unless at least 5 of the above characteristics still apply to them.

"Good old boys".

Try http://www.bogan.com.au/definition/index.php and the snap shots below sum up some Aussie bogan stereotypes nicely:

And all their kids go here? We must invite them to the Flying Pig, since it will be in their school district this year.

Speaking of Flying Pigs, don't they eat drop bears for lunch and attack badgers for dinner?

Classic, Mike! We'd love to send our bogans over, but they might disrupt the peacebuilding effort!