this whole post made me smile. hope you also picked up a country store lunch buffet on the way... =)
You could try gluing closed-cell sleeping-pad foam around the outside of the pipe. Just cut some off of your winter-camping tupperware. though I guess bare pvc wouldn't be so bad for hamstrings.
it's okay on the back of the legs. On the side ... different story.
I really needed something to drink, so I passed on the cheese and salsa spread.