Off-road running 15:00 [3] 1.0 mi (15:00 / mi)
slept:7.0 (injured) (sick)
Feeling a bit barfy. Jogging around the warm up map trying out the knee protection system the physio had designed. Not bad. Great to have a midge suit to warm up in.
Orienteering - race 1:36:00 [3] 9.6 mi (10:00 / mi)
WOC long.
The knee bursa thing was problematic apparently. The physio was worried, and yesterday we had a long discussion on the pros and cons of running prior to confirm the entry which had to be done by midday Thursday. The team management put me under no pressure to run at all. If I hit my knee, with the bursa in the state it was in, my patella would have minimum protection and I was in danger of damaging it. This and the fact that the 6 different prescription medicines I was taking (the usual, antibiotics, eye stuff, cocodamol, and diclofenac) were combining to make me feel v nauseous indeed. It wasn't looking good.
The disadvantages of running were:
Jess might do well instead of me,
I might end up really crocked for a long time by running,
I was feeling so nauseous a good run was unlikely
I was feeling a bit out of it and woozy from the drugs.
Advantages for running were:
I knew if I didn't run I would probably go mad.
Different things motivate different people, and my motivation over the past few years has been this one race. If I could do it, I would feel everything had been worthwhile. That I had been successful. If I didn't run it I would have failed in everything I have been working towards. For me there was no choice, I had to run it as I didn't want to face the consequences of not doing so.
Number 1 was going well, until the end when I thought it was on a reentrant. It wasn't. Dropped a good 1:30 I think.
2 - a bit off line mid way. I recovered and went round a lake on the shore until I hit a big crag. Swim 5m or go round. I went around. Too early on to get so wet.
3 and 4 were ok. 5 was a v long leg. After lots of debate I went straightish. This was bad. V tussocky. Hard to attack the control confidently the way I went too.
6 and 7 were quite tracked up, so easy.
To 8 I took a bearing, and lost confidence in the windblow. I hit the path as it crossed the slope though, and knew where I was. Phew!
Picked my way to 9, with Hanny catching me 9mins. Bummer. To 10 she gets away and catches Amelie and the Latvian who must have passed me with my poor number 5. After 11 they were about 50m ahead, and I hoped to catch them with a slightly different line to 12 but I got caught in some windblow. Bummer. 12 was lovely, as was 13. Such a beautiful experience. Then the rest was easy. So I finished in one piece, much to the physio's surprise.
It's all over. YEARS of demons faced. The result was a personal worst, but I feel so happy - a real weight off my shoulders. I need to stop now, draw a big line, accept that I have succeeded. If I am going to go on as an international orienteer I will need to find a new, positive, motivation. I'm not sure if the motivation is out there, and I don't really care. It's really important to me that I take the time to appreciate that I have done what I wanted.