Training Log Archive: Run_Bosco

Well, that was better.

At my Magnuson race, I felt a bit disengaged with the race for a lot of it, and like I was riding and not racing. This time I felt much more engaged, even if I did have my lazy moments (aka Lap 3), and I need to train more to be able to ride hard the whole time.

...

I think that my recent backlash against wanting to move has a bit to do with how "losing weight" has become more and more attached to movement in the last few years, in a way that it never has before. Movement was always, "this is fun!!" Even when I lost weight in college, it was because riding my bike a ton was fun, not because I tried to lose weight.

So now, my desire to lose weight comes from a desire to be that fast person I was. And every time I see how far away I am from that fast person, it is frustrating. And instead of being motivated by the movement itself, I am laden with this constant self-induced guilt trip about not being fast. It kinda makes the movement less fun. Movement becomes a sad reminder that I'm not fast.

But what a funny catch-22. If I move because I want to and because it's fun, I probably will lose weight and probably will become faster... but as soon as the weight becomes the goal, it all becomes work again.

What a mind game. It's time to move for fun. Also, I'm not giving up beer.

C • There will be beer, Fer Fun... 2

Have not been motivated to move lately. It's sort of strange.

Usually the struggle is, "I want to go outside and ride or run, but I feel work guilt and will stay in and work instead!"

But this is different. This is like,

"nah, I want to color in this coloring book instead." And I don't even feel guilt about it, more like... melancholy.

Huh.

I think I've been on the computer too much. The combo of startup work and building the wedding website got to be a bit much. On the plus side, I have a really neat adult coloring book now!

Also, I have a bug bite with a bruise around it, which is creepy. No, it's not a red bull's eye rash, like a Lyme disease thing. It's a black/blue bruise that's tender. Super weird. Maybe a spider bite? Am watching it every day to make sure it doesn't spread, but it seems about the same each day, which is why I haven't gone to the doctor. Also, I just don't know where to go to the doctor.

C • I'm feeling similarly melan... 4

The ol' work commute.