orienteering race 1:08:54  *** 2.9 km (23:46 / km) +100m 20:16 / km
11c shoes: VJ Integrators
CSU Lynn Woods Middle - Brown (F-Brown)
I've been having a lot of anxiety, and it always seems to apply itself to orienteering more than some other things. (I already know I have to go back to the doctor and get on meds again. But there was nothing I could do in time for this weekend.)
I was already keyed up because I had signed up for F-21+ a couple months ago when I was still feeling fine. I was nervous about having a late start and being out longer than everyone else. I kept hearing chatter about the difficulty of the map which was making me feel even more nervous.
When I set out for the start, I missed the first turn somehow and started following the wrong streamers. (Orange ones I guess for the trail race in the park tomorrow.) I started to feel like it was wrong when I saw controls and runners. I asked someone if this was the way to the start, only wanting a yes or no answer, then felt bad for disturbing her when she launched into some long and confusing answer which did not help. There were others up there with me, I wasn't the only one going the wrong way.
I did go back and found the correct path to start. Having been in embargoed terrain, I felt like I first had to disqualify myself. Then I decided to drop to Brown which I probably would have done anyway upon reaching start. I was feeling frustrated and upset and a little tearful, and was then told I could run Red if I still wanted to, which was the exact opposite of what I wanted, but I guess most people would interpret it the other way. This whole part was really embarrasing.
Frankly, dropping down ended up being the best choice. I took trails to the vicinity of #1 and was having a real hard time even reading what was along the trail. I felt like I was crawling between controls, having to pick my way from feature to feature. I did eventually get more of a feel for the map, but still managed to lose focus at the end and screw up the last control.
So, making it through tomorrow and then I will take a bit of a break to get my head screwed back on straight.