Training Log Archive: HolIn the 7 days ending Apr 23, 2022: |
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Wednesday Apr 20, 2022 #
Note
I haven’t disappeared forever! Just for a wee while.
Here is what you’ve missed:
Stirling – I love it so much but it’s not exactly flat… If I want to run straight out of the door without much climb I’m limited to laps of the loch. I spend most of my time at rugby training or in uni studying and I don’t give myself enough time to run. Also BUCS matches are on Wednesdays so when it comes to FVO WEEs I’m usually absolutely broken. After I stopped running I kind of forgot orienteering existed which is a massive shame.
Rugby – The season is finished now. I stepped into Grangemouth as scrum half and had a blast. From the first game at 9 against Dunfermline I never missed a full 80 mins. For Uni I was usually benched but the first back to be subbed on – usually into scrum half. Uni games are brutal and so tiring. I found it very hard to stay on the pitch for longer than 30 mins because of my (lack of) fitness. I played 2 full 80s at scrum half for uni which I was very proud of but know that if that happens again I need to be more prepared and much much fitter.
Mental Health – lots of shite went on over Christmas break and my anxiety and depression both relapsed, depression badly. I had to come home from uni for a wee while to get back on my feet. Isolating myself and feeling lonely became a bit of a vicious cycle and I really wasn’t very well. I really struggled to look after myself.
Eating – Back in February I discovered I had ARFID, an eating disorder characterised by avoiding foods that weren’t “safe” for me to eat and subconsciously restricting food intake if there was nothing “safe” to eat. Looking back this has affected me for a long while but was hugely amplified by moving to uni. My “safe” food list decreased to about 3 meals and absolute crap like chocolate digestives and magic stars. I just saw these as favourite foods yet I was going out of my way to make sure I had to eat these meals otherwise I wouldn’t eat at all. I tended to eat nothing or binge.
Fast Forward – I believe I am now clear of depression. That’s a bold statement to make but for now I think it’s true. Anxiety still affects me, especially in academic or team settings. Groups of people continue to terrify me but I finally have a nice handful of pals who look out for me. Foodwise, my list of “safe” foods has massively increased yet I still find myself binging. This means I binge more often as most days there is something “safe” to consume. I’ve persuaded myself that binging is better than not eating at all. However since eating more again I’ve managed to put on 5kg in 5 weeks.
JK – It was a fab weekend away from uni! I ran the sprint, middle and relay. Longs have never been fun for me but especially now that I’m mad unfit I thought it best just to sit in the box and enjoy talking. I think commentary went well this weekend! If you have any feedback pls do let me know for next time! I ran elite for the middle and regretted it lol cos my legs were not ready for terrain and my lungs hated it. I got round though and I wasn’t last! The relay was ace and I had a blast running for FVO who are very welcoming! I felt like a fat lump all weekend so now is definitely time to take controlling my eating a step further and stop binging.
Future – Now the rugby season is over I intend to go back to FVO WEEs and Sunday events. I move into my new house on May 20th and I will be up north all summer working on it and working in the pub down the road. I want to spend the rest of my time in the hills or running. I also want to get back to the gym more often because until today’s session I forgot how fun it is.
Sorry this was so long!
Ill be impressed if you read it all!
Here is what you’ve missed:
Stirling – I love it so much but it’s not exactly flat… If I want to run straight out of the door without much climb I’m limited to laps of the loch. I spend most of my time at rugby training or in uni studying and I don’t give myself enough time to run. Also BUCS matches are on Wednesdays so when it comes to FVO WEEs I’m usually absolutely broken. After I stopped running I kind of forgot orienteering existed which is a massive shame.
Rugby – The season is finished now. I stepped into Grangemouth as scrum half and had a blast. From the first game at 9 against Dunfermline I never missed a full 80 mins. For Uni I was usually benched but the first back to be subbed on – usually into scrum half. Uni games are brutal and so tiring. I found it very hard to stay on the pitch for longer than 30 mins because of my (lack of) fitness. I played 2 full 80s at scrum half for uni which I was very proud of but know that if that happens again I need to be more prepared and much much fitter.
Mental Health – lots of shite went on over Christmas break and my anxiety and depression both relapsed, depression badly. I had to come home from uni for a wee while to get back on my feet. Isolating myself and feeling lonely became a bit of a vicious cycle and I really wasn’t very well. I really struggled to look after myself.
Eating – Back in February I discovered I had ARFID, an eating disorder characterised by avoiding foods that weren’t “safe” for me to eat and subconsciously restricting food intake if there was nothing “safe” to eat. Looking back this has affected me for a long while but was hugely amplified by moving to uni. My “safe” food list decreased to about 3 meals and absolute crap like chocolate digestives and magic stars. I just saw these as favourite foods yet I was going out of my way to make sure I had to eat these meals otherwise I wouldn’t eat at all. I tended to eat nothing or binge.
Fast Forward – I believe I am now clear of depression. That’s a bold statement to make but for now I think it’s true. Anxiety still affects me, especially in academic or team settings. Groups of people continue to terrify me but I finally have a nice handful of pals who look out for me. Foodwise, my list of “safe” foods has massively increased yet I still find myself binging. This means I binge more often as most days there is something “safe” to consume. I’ve persuaded myself that binging is better than not eating at all. However since eating more again I’ve managed to put on 5kg in 5 weeks.
JK – It was a fab weekend away from uni! I ran the sprint, middle and relay. Longs have never been fun for me but especially now that I’m mad unfit I thought it best just to sit in the box and enjoy talking. I think commentary went well this weekend! If you have any feedback pls do let me know for next time! I ran elite for the middle and regretted it lol cos my legs were not ready for terrain and my lungs hated it. I got round though and I wasn’t last! The relay was ace and I had a blast running for FVO who are very welcoming! I felt like a fat lump all weekend so now is definitely time to take controlling my eating a step further and stop binging.
Future – Now the rugby season is over I intend to go back to FVO WEEs and Sunday events. I move into my new house on May 20th and I will be up north all summer working on it and working in the pub down the road. I want to spend the rest of my time in the hills or running. I also want to get back to the gym more often because until today’s session I forgot how fun it is.
Sorry this was so long!
Ill be impressed if you read it all!