Note
My friend and sometimes rogaine partner (when he can talk me into it and I can not talk myself out of it) Jason Poole is off to do Barkley Marathons this weekend. Some people might be impressed merely by the fact that someone got in, but they shouldn't be--the entry fee is only $1.60 or something like that, at any rate way, way less than it costs to race even a single day of Laramie Daze.
Plus, in Jason's case, this has to be reckoned as a case of pure insanity. He already has 6 starts under his belt, and 6 DNFs. He hasn't even finished the fun run (I'm pretty sure of that.) And Jason is about as tough as they come; there is no quit in him.
So, when friends are in trouble and take leave of their sense, you either intervene and do what you can, or else you just go off and say "well, it's a free country, and he's a grown adult..so he can do what he will" and go on off and have some delicious pizza for dinner.
Well, while I didn't *exactly* intervene yesterday when Jason called me up, and while I did have some delicious pizza dinner, I did do what I could.
Jason called me while he was in route. He was about 20 minutes out of Frozen Head State Park (we won't even touch the issue of calling while driving; running Barkley is so many echelons beyond that.)
And why was he calling? He had a newly purchased compass for this Barkley attempt, one that was adjustable for declination. He wanted to know if he needed to make the necessary 5 degree adjustment to the left or to the right.
In truth, 5 degrees is so little that you really don't need to make any adjustment anyway--you can just eye in a little windage and you should be fine. Plus, the evil, demented Barkley course design is such that nearly all necessary navigation can be accomplished by contours: if you're not going either straight up or straight down the near vertical slopes, then you're wrong. For all the rest of the course, you simply need to stick the worst of the brier infestations, and then there is really no possibility of going wrong.
But that's not what I told him. Instead, I told him it was such a great thing for him that he had called, and that so many people get declination adjustments completely wrong! And went on to tell him that the daytime adjustment was calculated by multiplying the given correction by a factor of 9 and making a counter-clockwise adjustment to the compass with that result, and that for nighttime use you would need to multiply instead by 5 and using that to apply a clockwise adjustment from the daytime setting.
I asked him if he understood what I had told him, and he said yes, perfect! I said perfect, too!
So, hopefully, within a few hours of starting, he will be so hopelessly lost that he will conclude that this year's race can't be salvaged, and that he will make his way back to the yellow gate, thinking about he might possibly manage to scrape together enough spare change to try for another entry next year.
By the way--I'll just add that this is no April Fool's joke. The Barkley Marathons are real; Jason is real; and Jason is really in east Tennessee, about to make his 7th attempt at the Barkley Marathons. And of course everything else I wrote above is 100% true, too, just like always. If there are any skeptics out there, you are so wrong--ha!