Training Log Archive: EdmundIn the 7 days ending Dec 1, 2013:
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Thursday Nov 28, 2013 #
Bounce Bounce Bounce 1 [3]
I haven't logged for a while, so here is a brief summary of recent events.
I am two-years-old. Soon I will be having a Birthday and I will have a cake and I will be THREEyearsold. I am going to have a LIGHTENING A'QUEEN cake and Mum says Grandma is going to make it.
When I am THREEyearsold I will go to kindy instead of school and daycare. School is fun because I can do lots of puzzles and play with the dinosaurs and I can refuse to join in with any group activities but I always give Sue a cuddle at the end to make sure she brings the dinosaurs back next week. Kindy will be driffent because Mum Can't Come to kindy, only big boys go to kindy and not Mums.
The other big news of the month is that I don't have nappies any more! I wear Undies. I have two pairs of thomas undies, happy Thomas and worried Thomas, and also James undies and Percy undies. Percy is happy not worried but he will be worried if he gets wet so when a wee is coming I strip naked and run for the toilet, or the garden, and do my wee there. I love my undies so much that I often wear two pairs, and sometimes in polite company I drop my shorts without warning and shout "look at Happy Thomas!" which Mum says I shouldn't do because people might misunderstand.
I also do my poos in the toilet. I started doing them in the garden too but I cried when the march flies ate my poo and Mum got cross, crosser than the fat controller on a muddy day, so now I do them in the toilet. Every time I did a poo in the toilet mum drew a train on my poo chart and moved the little blue edmund along one checkpoint, and when little blue edmund had visited all the checkpoints and the double circle at the finish, Mum and I went to the toyshop and got a Lego Dusty. Lego Dusty has wheels that you have to take off so that he can fly.
Lego Aeroplane Dusty is driffent to Chicken Dusty. Chicken Dusty is a Chicken and doesn't have wheels, we have three chickens and I called them Dusty, Dotty and Michelle. They peck and peck and they like to eat blueberries and lettuce and march flies. Sometimes they sit on a chair!
Toby wants to eat march flies too but he can't catch them. Toby also wants to eat a bobtail lizard but after months of torment one caught him on the nose and now he is a bit more careful.
I don't torment bobtails but I like to torment the cat. I have lots of driffent ways of tormenting her, ranging from a kazoo at close range to a good old-fashioned squashing.
Oh and Mum says I have to talk about Wooofie too. Wooofie is my little sister. I wash her in the bath and sometimes when she cries I turn her over onto her back and wave a giant spider toy at her. She watches me allll the time and smiles a lot. I don't like her to look at me. Stop it Wooofie! I like my Mum. Wooofie is trying to roll over but she can't because she has her foot in her mouth. She likes to drink milk from mum's tummy and she doesn't eat weetbix. She is a bit boring really. She just sleeps and sleeps and smiles. Sometimes I wake her up so she can smile at me, but Mum gets a bit cross then.
Soon it will be Christmas. My cousins are coming over on the weekend to make christmas decorations. I like painting and I like playing with xavier and ebony but I don't want babyben in my playroom. He might take my trains off the train table or knock over my trucks or eat my jigsaws. I want him to go home.
When it is Christmas we will go to Perth to stay with Grandma and GrandadTim. GrandadTim has a TURNTABLE in his Thomas train set and I am going to play with it. He also has TWO thomases and a mineshaft and a noisy James that makes a noise, not like my noisy James that is broken or my James undies that are red. I want a turntable. Mum said if I ask Bery Nicely that Grandad Tim might swap his turntable for another toy. I might give him my three dinosaur puzzles, the flying dinosaur puzzle and the happy dinosaur one and the scary dinosaur puzzle with the dinosaurs that eat other dinosaurs and lots of smokanos. Then grandadTim might be bery Happy and he might keep the puzzles and I can take the turntable home. GrandadTim is always happy because he plays with trains ALL THE TIME.
Oh! Mum got me a clock! I love my clock and I can tell you when it is seven o'clock and when it is nine o'clock and all sorts of o'clocks. Now mum is trying to teach me how to tell when it is "wake-up-mum-and-dad-o'clock" but that is just silly. You wake up when the sun is up. In summer the sun is up at 4.30. Silly Mum.
I am two-years-old. Soon I will be having a Birthday and I will have a cake and I will be THREEyearsold. I am going to have a LIGHTENING A'QUEEN cake and Mum says Grandma is going to make it.
When I am THREEyearsold I will go to kindy instead of school and daycare. School is fun because I can do lots of puzzles and play with the dinosaurs and I can refuse to join in with any group activities but I always give Sue a cuddle at the end to make sure she brings the dinosaurs back next week. Kindy will be driffent because Mum Can't Come to kindy, only big boys go to kindy and not Mums.
The other big news of the month is that I don't have nappies any more! I wear Undies. I have two pairs of thomas undies, happy Thomas and worried Thomas, and also James undies and Percy undies. Percy is happy not worried but he will be worried if he gets wet so when a wee is coming I strip naked and run for the toilet, or the garden, and do my wee there. I love my undies so much that I often wear two pairs, and sometimes in polite company I drop my shorts without warning and shout "look at Happy Thomas!" which Mum says I shouldn't do because people might misunderstand.
I also do my poos in the toilet. I started doing them in the garden too but I cried when the march flies ate my poo and Mum got cross, crosser than the fat controller on a muddy day, so now I do them in the toilet. Every time I did a poo in the toilet mum drew a train on my poo chart and moved the little blue edmund along one checkpoint, and when little blue edmund had visited all the checkpoints and the double circle at the finish, Mum and I went to the toyshop and got a Lego Dusty. Lego Dusty has wheels that you have to take off so that he can fly.
Lego Aeroplane Dusty is driffent to Chicken Dusty. Chicken Dusty is a Chicken and doesn't have wheels, we have three chickens and I called them Dusty, Dotty and Michelle. They peck and peck and they like to eat blueberries and lettuce and march flies. Sometimes they sit on a chair!
Toby wants to eat march flies too but he can't catch them. Toby also wants to eat a bobtail lizard but after months of torment one caught him on the nose and now he is a bit more careful.
I don't torment bobtails but I like to torment the cat. I have lots of driffent ways of tormenting her, ranging from a kazoo at close range to a good old-fashioned squashing.
Oh and Mum says I have to talk about Wooofie too. Wooofie is my little sister. I wash her in the bath and sometimes when she cries I turn her over onto her back and wave a giant spider toy at her. She watches me allll the time and smiles a lot. I don't like her to look at me. Stop it Wooofie! I like my Mum. Wooofie is trying to roll over but she can't because she has her foot in her mouth. She likes to drink milk from mum's tummy and she doesn't eat weetbix. She is a bit boring really. She just sleeps and sleeps and smiles. Sometimes I wake her up so she can smile at me, but Mum gets a bit cross then.
Soon it will be Christmas. My cousins are coming over on the weekend to make christmas decorations. I like painting and I like playing with xavier and ebony but I don't want babyben in my playroom. He might take my trains off the train table or knock over my trucks or eat my jigsaws. I want him to go home.
When it is Christmas we will go to Perth to stay with Grandma and GrandadTim. GrandadTim has a TURNTABLE in his Thomas train set and I am going to play with it. He also has TWO thomases and a mineshaft and a noisy James that makes a noise, not like my noisy James that is broken or my James undies that are red. I want a turntable. Mum said if I ask Bery Nicely that Grandad Tim might swap his turntable for another toy. I might give him my three dinosaur puzzles, the flying dinosaur puzzle and the happy dinosaur one and the scary dinosaur puzzle with the dinosaurs that eat other dinosaurs and lots of smokanos. Then grandadTim might be bery Happy and he might keep the puzzles and I can take the turntable home. GrandadTim is always happy because he plays with trains ALL THE TIME.
Oh! Mum got me a clock! I love my clock and I can tell you when it is seven o'clock and when it is nine o'clock and all sorts of o'clocks. Now mum is trying to teach me how to tell when it is "wake-up-mum-and-dad-o'clock" but that is just silly. You wake up when the sun is up. In summer the sun is up at 4.30. Silly Mum.