Training Log Archive: mjulius

A fuzzy vague practice today. Even forgetting to note passing thoughts and finding myself in their content seconds later. The notion of the breath an incomplete focus. I don't think this was very succesfull at all, today.

10 Burpees / 20 Squats / 30 Situps x3

2:09 / 1:55 / 1:46

15 then 5
Second fifteen interrupted by mild then severe muscle contractions [twitching] over the right eye. I thought at first how lucky. I will turn my attention to it. It will be my focus but then it worsened and worsened some more and kept me cycling through attention then irritation then worry then all the content of that worry. So I gave up the ghost, so to speak. Weird.

update: The muscle twitching is likely the result of holding tension at the point of focus. Which explains why it worsened. Most advice being to start sessions with generalized relaxation techniques.

It's all sitting now. There is a clear difference between the goals of lying, wherein despite my wandering mind, I am focused on gaining a little traction in relaxation and easing tension. The sitting is work and today's session was a clear indication of how much that is just that: work.

A strong awareness of the unsteady state of mind. Careful to 'label' as many instances as I could. Thinking. Judging. Projecting. Thinking. Planning. Planning. Thinking. Worrying. Planning. Etc. It brings home how much living is like being on a rough sea. It was difficult not to get frustrated. Which of course is like the pain of the second and third and fourth arrow.

Second session for the day. More 'noting'. Nothing particularly remarkable but steadier in my assessments of disruption and hindrances.

Sitting. Attempt to achieve a little concentration with breathing but the change in posture [from hard floor laying to sitting] kept me tied to concerns about posture and practice. Judgement and doubt. Judgement and doubt.

Just started reading Daniel Ingram's unfortunately titled 'Hardcore' Buddhist teachings. I like his frankness, however. He's also and ER doctor and his protocol approach is appealing. Sort of a medical model of the Pali Canon.

C • i think you'll enjoy 2

Around neighborhood and twice around track. Through campus and some new side streets. How come no matter what, I come in at ~14:40. Strange.

Tried one muscle up. One. Hannah had recommended it after three years of neglecting the upper body exercise that I got regularly at Rescue. And you what. I can't do even one.



But that's no shame compared to the music choice in that video about 30 seconds in. Do they hate us?

At home I put my face into the A.C. and instantly remember the ice cold air conditioner at my grandparent's house in Louisville. Like I just came in from playing the yard that abutted the alley. That alley next to the gas station and liquor store that kept my grandfather pretty much constantly pickled. I don't know what it was. The subtle scent of the artificial ar blowing through a condenser that probably needs a cleaning? But for a moment I was there, in that old place, a long time ago.

Hard floor / breathing

Slow walk around town with Hannah.