Discussion: orienteering jokes

there are these two old orienteers, one is laying on his death bed and his friend asks him, "when you get to heaven, could you let me know if there is orienteering there?"

so the old guy dies, and appears to his friend in a dream and says "I have good news and I have bad news... there is orienteering in heaven and you are setting the course next weekend."

Worse news is that you are going to hell and you will be meet director, registrar, or managing the SportIdent/epunch system.

that's funny, sort of, I just volunteered to be a meet director for the first time,....

just came here to see if my name was mentioned.

Just came here to see if EUOC were mentioned.
:P

What is this rubbish about course setters in heaven? Everyone knows they are agents of the Devil!

you know, the good news makes the bad news not seem that bad. think about it: you can do orienteering forever.

"orienteering forever"

Yes, I also have run a couple courses like that.

Hmm, I always blamed myself, not the devilsish course setter (who's now in heaven?)

hahahahahahaha

Possible last words before heading off to orienteering heaven (or hell):

"I can easily jump that gap."
"One rarely encounters venomous snakes while orienteering."
"I don't need to stop for water no matter what the heat index."
"The mapper must have been crazy to show this as a dangerous area."
"That stream doesn't look too fast."
"Is that the map symbol for a fodder rack or a firing range?"
"That rock face is not too steep to climb."
"Is that the sound of a falling tree?"
“I wonder how deep that water is?”
"I can stop this guy from following me if I go into the brush." The hunter said, "I saw something moving in the brush before I shot."

Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to
produce other
products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them
to produce
compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in
Canada or
Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the
expression -- "He who has a Tate's is lost!"

Why did the orienteer cross the road?

"Back in the 1890's during the gold rush to Alaska, there was a watch company that made excellent railroad watches.They decided that they could cash in on the current frenzy of travelers if they also sold a compass.As a matter of economy, and to gain a marketing edge,they decided to put the compass on the back side of the watch, thereby having two instruments in one.The TATE WATCH COMPANY sold thousands of these watches,however, they did not fully understand the principle of the compass.The clock hands interacted with the compass heading, and according to the time of day when you looked at it, you would get a different bearing."

Why did the orienteer cross the uncrossable cliff?

"To cross the uncrossable road,
to climb the unclimbable cliff,
to run where the brave do not go,
To try when your legs are too weary
To reach the unreachable control

This is my quest to follow that arrow
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far
To be willing to march
Into a thicket for a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To dream the impossible dream

Heavily purloined from http://www.mylyricarchive.com/elvis_presley_lyrics...

And yes, I have little sense of rhythm :).

"orienteering forever"

Yes, I also have run a couple courses like that.

-Ricka

That made me laugh! And that's a cool poem too ^^^

Orienteering is a joke. full stop. period. menstruation. oh wait im sorry that was a joke about american dialect.

So a doctor, a lawyer, and a priest walk into a water stop control...

b0be is very fast. He passed me between every control !!!!
(true quote from Hans Bengtsson, at Quabbin Resevoir some time in the early 1980's)

I like it.