Orienteering race 1:56:00 
So, here's where things started to suck.
After the sprint, I knew I wouldn't make the team because of 1) Doing the wrong course for the middle (aka, no points) and 2) Not being able to submit a 3k time (Nearest track was closed until May for reconstruction, and the next closest one I couldn't get a coach to meet me at) and having my petition disregarded.
So going into the race I could not find the motivation to actually race, I treated it more of a training...
I couldn't even talk to any of my teammates because I would completely choke up.
Racing in Europe these past three years with the team has created some of my best memories. Even in my first year overseas when I was only racing the tour, having that international experience under my belt gave me enough courage and motivation to really train to make the JWOC team in 2014. It also gave me the confidence I needed to handle the stress that came with racing internationally.
Going to mandatory training camps and races these years has made it so that orienteering was my top priority (even if my soccer team and teachers disagreed). It taught me what it meant to be disciplined about sport and how to take care of my body in an appropriate way. I'm happy to have become serious at 17-18 because I felt mature enough to go through these routines. Waking up at 6am, getting a proper breakfast, making sure I had all of my gear, washing my clothes, making sure I rested when needed, beating the boys to the morning trainings ;), and etc...
It also taught me how to deal with the worst possible outcomes of traveling and training and make me laugh at them (Cancelled flights, lost luggage, using prewrap as o-socks, twisted ankles, running with no compass...).
So running the long distance hurt me mentally because I knew I wouldn't be with my second family, and I wouldn't have a solid training with a team for my last possible summer... I kept thinking "all of my missed college classes/assignments and I have nothing to show for it", "Why did I work over time? I could have gone for a run instead!", and worst of all, "If only my father didn't get sick, then I could have had more time for trainings instead of driving to the hospital and staying there over night" which hurt even more because it's so silly of me to make that excuse, He's my dad.... but I still felt it nonetheless.... It felt like I did dedicate so much of this year to the sport and that I shot short handed...So the long course was Really, a long course because of all of my sad/stupid thinking.
So for now... I honestly have no idea what my plans are. I feel numb to the whole situation... My dad is getting remarkably better and I'm out of skiing shape and into the base stages of running shape... Time to run Trail-O? haha
Thank you Erin for all of your work with the Junior program and getting it to the place that it is now!
Also, Congratulations to all of the USA Juniors going to JWOC! I know you all will kick butt in Switzerland this summer!! =)