Discussion: Warning: This thread is rated R

When is someone in the US going to step up and form their own All-Nude Orienteering and Woodland Sexual Perversion Club?

http://trouserquand.blogspot.com/2006/02/all-nude-...

After all, there are plenty of "dedicated orienteering perverts" on this list alone!

I respectfully submit, however, that Texas would be the wrong location for such a club, given our thorny flora. (Although one would certainly get "manly" points.)

Note the mention of "bewildered weasels and stunned badgers." I'm certain those weren't attack badgers -- it is impossible to stun an attack badger, no matter what you're, uh, improvising with.

-- Lisa

It goes without saying there are no attack badgers in the UK, and that there never have been any. If there had been, there would have been no villages standing for the Vikings to raid and plunder, and I'm pretty sure there would have no Beatles either.

Obviously the IOF is on the entirely wrong track with their Olympic quest and micrO. Instead, we should approach this problem head on. Let's get O included in the next edition of the Maslin Beach Nude Olympics!

Publicity would be very good...

Actually, I have wondered what sort of event would make a good follow-up to the Culvert Crawl, a fun event that would induce people to make donations to the team if it happened. And what I've been considering is the Nearly Naked Night-O. People will have headlamps with them in Wyoming next summer anyway for the Night-O Champs, and maybe if we, say, had a pizza party at Yellow Pine Campground, we could add a nighttime sprint event where the only allowable attire is shoes, socks, and a headlamp...

How many socks?

very long one, and what about fluorescent stripes?

There does seems to be at least 1 attack badger in the UK. See here

Nasky!

That's a very interesting story, Bishop22. Thanks for posting the link. From the story it must be taken as a serious possibility that some attack badgers have gone over to UK for some touristing and garage stalking. It goes almost without saying that when you see a badger of any sort outside your garage door, you are not looking at a harmless creature, one normally wary of human beings.

"Warning: This thread is rated R" - and no wonder given it includes both sexual perversion and gory violence.

BTW, in UK badger-related news, the Economist reports that the British government is considering culling badgers to reduce transmission of tuberculosis to cows. Lord have mercy on them for they clearly know not what they'd be letting themselves in for.

Poor Kenny--he can't have had any idea that AP would fall to these depths...

For those of you understanding Swedish I'm posting a link from our (not so official) Club Championships in Nude Orienteering -
The Flying Nude Kilometer. With the comment above about going into the Olympics in mind I will translate the last part: "As final words let us hope that this will be a turning point, Nude Orienteering is the salvation for competitive orienteering. If orienteering ever is going to be an Olympic sport 'the Nudist' is the only way..."

I think the important thing to glean from this very important report from bubo is that the Nude Champion, Martin Johansson, weighed in at 159.5 pounds for the competition. This is just one more important piece in the weight pie pointing to the important fact that if Spike wants to ever swagger up to the awards podium again, he's going to have to shy under the 160 mark suggested by the man best known as having the shortest name in show business--Mr. G.

And if he should ever make it to the podium again? Then I imagine we will all be united in the fervent hope that he will...keep his clothes on.

I had no idea there was so much nude orienteering going on. Of course, none of it seems to be going on where I am. Why do I have all the bad luck with location?

Should I try to figure out how to post the Bob Lux picture?

For historical fidelity, yes.

Cristina, watch Deliverance and tell me you want nude orienteering in Arkansas.

Why do I have all the bad luck with location?

Well you may just have to go to it then. It has happened in the past at the Big Muddy Rogaine out here in Oregon. Big Muddy III is just around the corner!

You mean this one and this one?

I assume they're on the web somewhere, because I had them on my computer.

Cristina, you're frightening me. It's ok for the originators of this NEOC News (ie PG) to have the file around, but it's creepy when you just happen to have them lying around...

I though Deliverance was in Georgia....near where the Navigator Cup will be.

Jeff, are you implying that there will be nude competitors at the Big Muddy? Or just Mal?

And Eric, mountain men don't scare me. (And wasn't it Georgia?)

It was Georgia, although I think you could construct similar, plausible events in quite a few rural areas (including some areas I regularly train in - although I'm more likely to find a meth lab than a moonshiner).

During the first Big Muddy, the weather was incredibly hot, so the comfort zone was a little better for the more daring. No guarantees at the next one, but you can always ask Mal.

Crisitina, you convice me to participate in this historical event...

It strikes me that Bob Lux of 25 years ago bears a surprising resemblence to current jjcote, at least much more than I expected, having known Bob at that time, and never having seen jj in similar conditions.

Don't give him any ideas!

Oh, I've been naked in Eric's house before. But he's polite enough to give guests privacy in the shower.

Did you all know that off in west Texas there is a big spread that is proud to have the "Triple XXX" brand?

I think Eric is on to something. How do we know that really is Bob and not JJ (with the picture photoshopped a bit for increased authenticity)?

The "resemblance" to J-J is interesting, particularly in that J-J looked nothing like this back when these pictures were taken. Perhaps the Bob of today is giving us a preview of what J-J might look like circa 2020 or so.

While we're at it, here's a shot (not R rated) of a young Swampfox. Looks unlikely that the "Lux" photos were actually a retouched SF.

You know, NEOC used to be a LOT more fun back then.....
And Hey! Those cadets even had a sponsor!

Note the carefree stance, the look of complete confidence, the utterly studly demeanor of the young Swampfox. Clearly by that point in his young and uncomplicated life he had not yet encountered the dreaded Attack Badger of the western shortgrass prairie...

Sponsor? Freedom water?

I especially like the taped-up BCGs. Very sexy.

The Laramie Man of Mystery

My, how things have changed. I'm all for sponsorship and all, but I just don't know that GWB (or rather the congressional rabble-rousers) would be comfortable with a relationship like this. Some of them may not know that Switzerland is not part of France.

Here's a recent PG-13 rated photo of jj in Wyoming. Note careful placement of the bib number. Is there a resemblance to the aforementioned folks? You make the call!

Okay, after all this photo sharing I now know that I'm going to have to be very aware of my appearance and of the presence of cameras at O events. Talk about an embarrassing way to ruin a political career! ;-)

There was rumored to be an unannounced, hidden camera at a control at an A meet within the last couple of years. Be careful what you do in the circle ...

It is already too late for most of us. No orienteer has ever advanced their political career to vice presidential "shoot-your-quail-hunting-buddy" boogie status in the history of the Republic.

Who said anything about shooting (as it were) for the Vice Presidency? That requires intelligence and experience. The presidency, on the other hand...

That's a great picture, Eddie, thanks! I'm just wondering two things:
1) When was that? From the bib number I can tell it was 2004, but I don't remember dressing that way. I know it's not the Stampede, because I'm wearing shoes and socks instead of sandals.
2) What happened to my map?

(In the background we appear to have Glen Tryson and Andy Strat.)

Oh, wait... the sprint on the day Mike Minium knocked out his teeth? And I'm on my way to the map boxes?

Correct! The Superbum Sprint. I have two other shots of you just before this one. Maybe I'll make one of those multi-exposure things and post it later.

Intelligence and expertise, yes, but also venality and guile.

I'm not sure I want to see JJ multi-exposed. It would certainly up the rating of the thread to X.

jj in the movie "Predator" Just an interesting effect from a min-combine of three photos. Its a little known fact that wherever jj is lighter than the background he becomes invisible. This opens a world of possibilities. Running in white sneakers and a pair of white y-fronts would render him completely transparent (except for the subtle background distortions). Or maybe he's done this before and we just don't know about it!

Bike riders are way ahead of us:

World naked bike ride