I feel a bit like
General McClellan sometimes. He was a commander of the main body of the Union Army based in Washington, D.C. during the early Civil War. McClellan was a meticulous organizer - he drilled, trained, and prepared the army better than anyone else, but when the time came to strike, he proved indecisive and unable to act. Even though his force was far superior to the Confederate Army under Lee during the peninsular campaign, he called for reinforcements, dug in, and lost his advantage. He was a brilliant organizer, but an incompetent commander.
My life up to this point has consisted of preparations, a building of
strength, and a refining of skill. I have given some thought to the question of "what do you want to do with your life," but evidently not enough to be convicted. I want to live a life of purpose, but what does that mean? I suppose I want happiness, but how is that defined?
Our society is an optimization problem - sustaining the set of people on finite resources. The solution our society has found is not optimal, of course. But an individual's life can also be described as an optimization problem - we try to make decisions that maximize some objective function.
And so the obvious question: What objective function should I use? (or, eerily, what objective function am I presently using?)